I have put a lot of pressure on myself. Turns out my own body has said “no”. I have to have more medical tests. I have poured everything into creating an environment for everyone to come together and feel comfortable to share their personal stories of #StrengthFromPain. A lot of people have invested a lot of time and money into I’m 1in5, including me.
With unforeseen medical problems and circumstances while on the road in British Columbia, I had to stop and come home to Ontario to care for my physical and mental wellbeing. I can tell everyone I'm not in a good spot in my life right now. The depression I live with is stirring and I am having a hard time after I promised so much to you all. I am discouraged and pained to tell you all that maybe this just isn't time for me to do this.
Many people have offered me help and have had to carry on with their own lives. It’s a big commitment to help someone go across Canada. My purpose was to educate Canadians and raise money to help others. I really just wanted Canadians to know they didn't have to feel alone, and that it's ok to reach out for help in moments of life’s pain. I am reaching out now.
The mental, emotional and physical impact of the tour I started and had to stop has taken its toll on me but helped me to make another difficult decision. There will be no tour this summer. It's with an extremely heavy heart that I make this decision. Feasibly it just won't work this year.
Building something like this takes a ton of time with many, many volunteers. It also takes sponsors, donations, and funding. It has to be coordinated and we need more time to put that together. A lot of well-meaning people had to pull back too.
It was extremely hard to come to this decision and accept it; to make this choice. I'm going to need to step back from the advocacy, education and awareness for a period of time so I can be stronger. I still strongly believe in #StrengthFromPain. I am strong in my commitment to sobriety. I need some time to rebuild my life and get focused.
Not every day is great, some days down right suck. Some days we need to step back for personal safety. Today I have to look after my physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing so that I have a tomorrow. I thank you all for the tremendous amount of support. I am “1in5”.
Eternally grateful;
Paulie
